The love that started this blog, the love that inspired me to make real change. I was looking in all the wrong places. Much like I have said before in regards to self confidence, you can't find love, or motivation in the pursuits of others. I wanted so badly to be deeply inspired by someone , so inspired that I would just pick up where I left off. I wanted someone else's adventure in health and happiness to be my jumping off point. It just didn't happen.
I have been waiting, and all the while I HAVE been inspired, I have friends who are eating clean, and exercising more than I am, and inspiring me daily! I just couldn't find what I was looking for in their pursuits, even when I became a part. I signed up for Yoga with a friend, Natacha, hoping that would be it, the little push I needed so badly. Yet still life, and work, and work, and life found a way to keep me busy, and tired, and invested in other things. Until today, something hit me hard, and then there it was, I found you!
I finally find that piece I was looking for.
I spent my day feeling tired and drawn out. After work I went out, had my nails done and picked up some essentials, then feeling mildly relaxed I considered and weighed my options for the rest of the night... Natacha invited me to Yoga, the problem is the Thursday teacher makes me crazy, he is nice, he has good intention, but for my needs he just talks too fast and has a static tone. I need a calm sultry voice to get through a yoga class, someone to reassure me that I don't look like a bean bag chair trying to fold up inside itself. (FYI Boobs and extra long legs make Yoga a feat of acrobatic impossibility..)
So as much as I wanted to join the ladies adventures in Yoga, I decided striking out on my own was best.
What to do?
I considered calling the workout off, and staying home, pajamas, my bed and a cup of tea sounds nice.. but something told me No! Go!
So I decided on Moksha, the first Hot yoga class I have ever tried had been there. So I put on my yoga pants, a tank top, no bra for comfort sake and frankly who cares in a 9:30 class??? Ha ha!
I got in the car and put on the tunes, and made my way to the heavenly studio, an hour later, laying out on the hardwood, glowing and half asleep, I found my "AHA" moment! I found the missing piece!
I LOVE the way I feel afterwards, the automatic smile,the peace and calm, the afterglow is my missing piece! I found it because I was willing to venture out on my own, I needed to be alone to find it, I needed that reminder that I AM DOING THIS FOR ME, BECAUSE I LOVE MYSELF, I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AND I LOVE THE WAY I FEEL, NOW, TOMORROW, AND EVERY DAY AFTER. Being myself, in my skin, in this body now,strong, happy and full of life. What's inside will always come first, but I have the power and the love to change the outside if I see fit, I also have the right to love the outside no matter what shape it comes in. And so do you, you have the right to love yourself, and others for that matter,unconditionally.
Before I left the studio I wrote on a little red paper heart, and placed it on a branch, the question "why do you love yoga?" had been posed.
I wrote " I love the freedom to enjoy my body in a still moment"
Because honestly, we don't take enough time to sit still and just be
Well on that mushy note, I bid you adieu.
Goodnight.
xoxox Erin
