Rihanna is deep..
I was having a deep inner dialogue with myself on my drive home today and I need to share some of it. I know those two ideas do not coincide, deep inner dialogue while driving home.. and while blasting Rihanna in the car. But it is what it is. The music got me thinking, because it is music I would typically work out to. The song "Diamonds" of all things, the lyrics, "Shine bright like a diamond" and "I chose to be happy"... Rihanna you are deeper than you let on. I have been focused lately on the topic of confidence, and what makes up a person's confidence, and here is the conclusion I have come to ultimately.
You have to find your confidence within yourself. If it turns out that your confidence level is a barely visible light inside of you, then you put work in to yourself, and shine brighter!
This mean "meeting yourself where you are now", don't think about where you were, or how you'll never get to where you want to be. Focus on it one day at a time. You cannot allow the input and criticism of others to influence your confidence, nor should you let what others are doing or not doing influence it either.
It is all about how you see yourself, what makes you happy, what makes your life fulfilling. Are you feeling fulfilled?
If you can't find happiness and confidence in your life, in who you are and what you are doing, then change the channel, put some love back in to your life. Do the things you love, spend time with people who love you and accept you, find a job that fulfills something in you. The better you treat yourself the better you will feel about yourself and your life. Easier said than done in most cases, but it's food for thought. Put love in and you will get love back!
Case in point: My current situation..
I have been battling with myself for months, feeling down, blue and frustrated, and guilty. Guilt about my "wagon" (healthy eating and weight loss wagon woot woot!) as I call it, falling off the wagon over and over has taken it's toll. "I was doing so well" I keep telling myself. I was truly, 6 solid months of on track health, and regular work outs, and 45 pounds down. I was on top of the world. But life comes in and makes a mess, and your plans and that feeling of being "on track" is gone before you can blink twice.
I let stress get the best of me, it happens to everyone...
I let things slide, and lost touch with what was important to me and vital to my health and well being. Sometimes the task at hand is all that matters, managing the stress and keeping my moods in check are number one. Meanwhile I was leading myself on the world's longest self imposed guilt trip. You know those days when you sort of talk to yourself, well I have said some mean things to myself... something I vowed never to do.
I was feeling so frustrated with what in my mind was personal failure, that I failed to realize how mean I was being to myself.
I have put back on 20 lbs of the original 45 I lost, there I said it.. and for months I have scolded myself for it.
It took me a while to come to a place where I could accept this,
so yes I put some of it back on, 20 pounds..and you know what, I lost it once and I can do it again. I know how to get there, 20,40,60 pounds bring it on! I was thinking about this class I'm taking today, Burlesquercise, and feeling rather terrified about my upcoming performance. A few weeks ago I had nearly backed out of the performance entirely, the ladies I know in the class aren't able to participate and I was panicking. I am not a dancer, I love to dance, but have never been trained to do so. I am clumsy, and silly and awkward. Something kept me pushing forward anyways, I signed up for this, I paid for this, and I want to do it, I want to get out there all dolled up in a costume and dance, so be it. No matter how ridiculous I might end up looking, I am doing it for me. I am going to dance my little ass off.
This is where I come back to the words:
" meet yourself where you are now" and that means loving yourself the way you are now too, do NOT dwell on where you were or where you want to be, focus on now. What can you do now, who can you be now? Take it one day , one step and one little bit of love at a time. You have to find your confidence within and take care of it. Maybe that means speaking kindly to yourself, or spending extra time getting ready in the morning, leaving yourself reminders, taking a class, listening to music you love, making big changes, making small changes.. do whatever you need to find that confidence because with it you can move mountains.
On a small side note:
I had started a series of posts in response to
Suger Coat It's Confident You series, http://www.sugercoatit.com/
but I am discontinuing them. I was finding in my writing that the posts were getting to be too deep and far too personal. I will continue to share my inner workings and insight, and just plain old ridiculous fun. But for me, the writings in response to hers I am going to keep for myself.
With that my lovelies.
I bid you adieu, until next time.
Much love
Erin
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
#3 - Find a Cheer Squad #confidentyou - Response Series
Challenge #3 - Find a Cheer Squad
http://www.sugercoatit.com/day-3-find-a-cheer-squad-confidentyou/
Suger says and I quote:
"Find people who love you. Or think you’re ok at least. And tell them of your mission for more confidence. This alone will take something. Telling people that you are working on your confidence takes admitting that it needs work. I’d always been quiet good at putting on a brave front. A plastered face of confidence that people rarely saw through but the truth was that I was terrified, panicking and sick." -sugercoatit.com
Truer words were never spoken.
I have always been very very good at putting on the brave face, smiling and putting on the show. The song and dance is always the same, my cheery disposition and ridiculous nature are what people have come to expect. So sometimes even when I'm not feeling so cheery, I put on that show. But deep down, under the surface, I am afraid, and feeling awkward, and at times even a little depressed. I can't make conversation without stumbling over my words. Encountering another human being at a time like this is daunting, and brings on anxiety. The onset of these feelings is brief and fleeting, it's rare. Thankfully it never lasts for more than a month or so. The problem lies in the fact that it happens at all, that sometimes, for a month or longer I feel anxious,
socially awkward,frustrated,sad,down,blue,shy,ugly,overwhelmed... the list could go on. Why? Why does it happen?
The problem is that it does, and I don't always know why.
http://www.sugercoatit.com/day-3-find-a-cheer-squad-confidentyou/
Suger says and I quote:
"Find people who love you. Or think you’re ok at least. And tell them of your mission for more confidence. This alone will take something. Telling people that you are working on your confidence takes admitting that it needs work. I’d always been quiet good at putting on a brave front. A plastered face of confidence that people rarely saw through but the truth was that I was terrified, panicking and sick." -sugercoatit.com
Truer words were never spoken.
I have always been very very good at putting on the brave face, smiling and putting on the show. The song and dance is always the same, my cheery disposition and ridiculous nature are what people have come to expect. So sometimes even when I'm not feeling so cheery, I put on that show. But deep down, under the surface, I am afraid, and feeling awkward, and at times even a little depressed. I can't make conversation without stumbling over my words. Encountering another human being at a time like this is daunting, and brings on anxiety. The onset of these feelings is brief and fleeting, it's rare. Thankfully it never lasts for more than a month or so. The problem lies in the fact that it happens at all, that sometimes, for a month or longer I feel anxious,
socially awkward,frustrated,sad,down,blue,shy,ugly,overwhelmed... the list could go on. Why? Why does it happen?
The problem is that it does, and I don't always know why.
This is where the cheer squad comes in, a group of people that you know you can count on, you can talk to, people you can turn to no matter what, the people that take you for you and embrace you whole heartedly. These people are the net that you fall in to. I am very fortunate to have many people I can turn to in times of need. My family is a close knit and endlessly loving and supportive one. I am blessed with an amazing extended family and friends who are family. I have a close circle of friends, each one I share a unique bond with, and I know I can talk to any of them at the drop of a pin. For me it's all in learning to talk, learning to tell the people I love that I need to work on me. It's very hard to admit when I'm a mess.
It's even harder to tell someone else I'm a mess.
So from here, my mission is to talk, to tell those near and dear to me when I'm not feeling 100% myself, to reach out for love and support when I need it. Because we are not alone in this. I need some work, I need confidence and sometimes I need some one to stand by me, and hold my hand.
Who do you turn to?
Who is your cheer squad?
Are you honest with yourself and others when things aren't as they should be?
Sunday, November 18, 2012
#2 - You Are Here - Take the Quiz #confidentyou - Response Series
Good Evening ladies and gentleman.
It's that time again. Post #2 in my response series to the #confidentyou challenge at http://www.sugercoatit.com/day-2-you-are-here-confidentyou/
The challenge is a quiz (one of many),taking inventory of your self confidence, or as Suger puts it, a map of you,this is the red dot that states "you are here" So here it goes..
Confident You - Start Up Quiz
1. On a scale of one to ten, when you are with family/friends how confident would you say you are?
10 - I feel I am at my best when I am around those I love.
2. On a scale of one to ten, when you are at work {or in a similar group situation} how confident would you say you are?
7-8 - I often feel overwhelmed, and awkward at work, often times I even feel as though I am just floating, trying to get somewhere.
3. On a scale of one to ten, when you are with strangers how confident would you say you feel?
5 - I'm quite shy.
4. On a scale of one to ten how confident would you say you are, in general?
7 - I like myself, love even, and most of the time I feel pretty good about myself and who I am.
5. On a scale of one to ten, how confident would other people say you are?
8 - I put on a good show most days
6. What rocks about you?
- My sense of humor
- My curves
- My love of life and people
- My outlook on life
7. What sucks about you?
- My constant need to do for,fix and take care of others sometimes takes away from taking care of me.
- I have a level of guilt about things that is at times ridiculous
- My inability as of late to stay on the "wagon"
- I procrastinate.
8. On a scale of one to ten, how happy with YOURSELF are you right now?
6 - I love myself, and I am happy in my own skin, but lately I have been feeling less than fabulous about my physical self, and that brings my emotional self down a notch too.
9. On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you with YOUR LIFE right now?
8 - Life is good, happy, content and generally pretty awesome.
10. Why are you reading the Confident You series? What do you hope to get out of it?
I am reading the series and responding to it, because it speaks to me, it speaks to where I am right now and gives me hope for where I want to be. I am a woman in need of a little confidence boost and this series is just what I was looking for.
I hope to push my confidence to it's limits, and feel better about myself and my life than ever before.
So that's that. The quiz and me, in a nutshell.
Take it for yourself and see where you are on the map.
For me it looks like there is room for improvement.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Photos, Tidbits and Short Short Stories
I made promises of light and funny, easy to digest posts. Here is one.
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3 weeks ago - Paul and I were headed to Video Games Live, a show put on by the Calgary Philharmonic Orchestra chock full of fun and nostalgic video game music. On the way we stopped for food, at the most amazing little place called: The Salad Bar, on 14th Street and Northmount Drive? I think.. They make amazing and all organic, natural and entirely "home made" dishes. Some of the best food in the city in my opinion. Paul had the GIANT, and I mean giant Portobello Burger at the bottom, huge slices of Portobello mushroom make the burger, then peppers and cheese and everything nice on a massive bun.
I had the Giant Prawns - Cajun, amazing and just a little spicy with a garlic toast base that is soaked in sauce. Om nom.
On the side we tried the Cucumber Dill Salad, and the Greek Salad, both awesome.
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Lastly, some of the beauty that is a Canadian winter, I love you pretty snow lined trees.
That's all for now. All my love.
Goodnight!
#1 - Be Kind #ConfidentYou - Response Series
Hello Friends,
Here's the first post in response to Suger's "Confident You" challenge http://www.sugercoatit.com/category/confident-you/
Day # 1 - Be Kind
Challenge: Make a reminder to be kind to yourself.
http://www.sugercoatit.com/day-1-be-kind-confidentyou/
Suger challenges us to be kind, to ourselves. To embrace the way we are and the way we feel right now. To speak kindly to ourselves, and to take the advice we give others. Remind yourself to be kind.
Today I am going to start by owning up to the fact that I am exhausted, emotionally and physically, yes, I am embracing that whole heartedly.
I make it a point to tell myself and others exactly how I am feeling, sometimes to my own detriment. I believe in being honest, no matter how ugly that honesty might be. I have been less than kind to myself lately, putting extra stress on things I feel I have failed at giving my full attention. Mind and body come to mind here, I know deep down that I need a good nights sleep, good food and a really GREAT workout every day to keep my world balanced. It's just how I'm made,and when I get those things I am a happier brighter Erin. So where does the let down happen? How do I fall behind? Because I have forgotten to be kind to myself. I get so caught up in everything else, work, life, a social life, friends, family, and the daily to do's. I often leave myself last on that list. Hanging stress and pressure over my own head has done me no good, the guilt is just tireless. I am going to strive to be kinder to myself, to go back to journalling and healthy eating, to earlier bed times and workouts. To the land of a calmer happier me.
I am going to take time after work to breathe, to relax, and read, or paint, or just sit and meditate. I am going to be mindful of how I speak to myself and of myself. Afterall, picking yourself apart only hurts you in the end. No one else can do these things for me.
I am going to remember that it is okay to feel the way that I do when I do and to embrace it for what it is and move on.
I am also going to give myself little rewards, for a week where I have been nothing but kind to myself. I am going to go see a movie, go for ice cream (in the snow yes), blast some of my favorite music, take a walk, go out with a friend, just celebrate all the ways that we can be kind to ourselves... however I see fit.
How are you kind to yourself?
What makes for a happier you?
What are you going to do to remind yourself?
Here's the first post in response to Suger's "Confident You" challenge http://www.sugercoatit.com/category/confident-you/
Day # 1 - Be Kind
Challenge: Make a reminder to be kind to yourself.
http://www.sugercoatit.com/day-1-be-kind-confidentyou/
Suger challenges us to be kind, to ourselves. To embrace the way we are and the way we feel right now. To speak kindly to ourselves, and to take the advice we give others. Remind yourself to be kind.
Today I am going to start by owning up to the fact that I am exhausted, emotionally and physically, yes, I am embracing that whole heartedly.
I make it a point to tell myself and others exactly how I am feeling, sometimes to my own detriment. I believe in being honest, no matter how ugly that honesty might be. I have been less than kind to myself lately, putting extra stress on things I feel I have failed at giving my full attention. Mind and body come to mind here, I know deep down that I need a good nights sleep, good food and a really GREAT workout every day to keep my world balanced. It's just how I'm made,and when I get those things I am a happier brighter Erin. So where does the let down happen? How do I fall behind? Because I have forgotten to be kind to myself. I get so caught up in everything else, work, life, a social life, friends, family, and the daily to do's. I often leave myself last on that list. Hanging stress and pressure over my own head has done me no good, the guilt is just tireless. I am going to strive to be kinder to myself, to go back to journalling and healthy eating, to earlier bed times and workouts. To the land of a calmer happier me.
I am going to take time after work to breathe, to relax, and read, or paint, or just sit and meditate. I am going to be mindful of how I speak to myself and of myself. Afterall, picking yourself apart only hurts you in the end. No one else can do these things for me.
I am going to remember that it is okay to feel the way that I do when I do and to embrace it for what it is and move on.
I am also going to give myself little rewards, for a week where I have been nothing but kind to myself. I am going to go see a movie, go for ice cream (in the snow yes), blast some of my favorite music, take a walk, go out with a friend, just celebrate all the ways that we can be kind to ourselves... however I see fit.
How are you kind to yourself?
What makes for a happier you?
What are you going to do to remind yourself?
How's Your Self Confidence Feeling Today?
The very definition of which is:
self-con·fi·dence
[self-kon-fi-duhns, self-]
noun
1.
realistic confidence in one's own judgment, ability, power,etc.
2.
excessive or inflated confidence in one's own judgment,ability,
etc.
(Dictionary.com)
or as Wikipedia so aptly states:
The socio-psychological concept of self-confidence relates to self-assuredness in one's personal judgment, ability, power, etc., sometimes manifested excessively.[1] Being confident in yourself is infectious if you present yourself well, others will want to follow in your foot steps towards success.[2]
My thoughts:
Self Confidence is attained and sustained ideally by positive means, it is valuing ones self.
Self Confidence is something that cannot be measured,examined or checked by a medical doctor.
Self Confidence is the sum of so many of our emotional and mental parts.
Self Confidence should be defined by ones "Self".
Self Confidence is made up of our emotions and
feelings,thoughts,impressions,opinions,experiences,body image,mental state,physical state and so much more.
So tell me, how's your Self Confidence lately?
Be Honest.
If I am being completely up front and brutally honest with myself, and I intend to be. I will have to admit.. my self confidence is shaken. Life creeps up on you, when everything seems happy and rose coloured and takes little pieces of that confidence, if you let it.
So you roll with the punches for some time, and take things with a smile on your face, until you wake up feeling a little less than happy and realize you can't look yourself in the mirror without
wincing. Life has taken me by storm, as I have said recently.
I find myself falling off the health and wellness wagon almost daily, my weight is creeping up on me, stress comes in and out. I've lost touch with myself, and I am feeling the aftershocks.
I am consumed with confusion, emotionally feeling quite literally drained and life is just a plain mess. So how do I clean up the mess, sort myself out again and find my feet?
How do you regain that confidence when all seems lost and you cannot face yourself?
Well, a blogger in Australia has answered this question for me.
Her name is Melissa and she is the fabulous writer, blogging goddess and head liner for http://www.sugercoatit.com/
Her page is full of inspiration, fashion, health, advice and just
plain beautiful life! I definitely recommend you check her out!
This month she started a blog series called "28 Days to a MORE Confident You" or #ConfidentYou. Every day for 28 days she posts about confidence, tips, tricks and positive ways to boost yours. There is a challenge piece as well, challenging you to do the same, turn your world upside down, a 360 on your own confidence.
I am hooked. I am subscribed and receive her newsletters,and sometimes admittedly..do an excited little dance when she's updated. I love to read, what can I say? and she is a wealth of awesome!
Here's where I come in. In her introductory post to the "Confident You" series, she challenged her readers to follow along, and become a part of this movement (I don't know what else to call it, it's just that brilliant) She stated and I quote:
"Every morning from now until the 28th you will have a morning post {6am Australian Eastern Standard Time} with a daily challenge to improve your confidence. I hope you’ll do the challenge and share your successes and your failures with us. You can share your experience in the comments section of each post. You can blog about it {there’s a button below}, share on Twitter or Instagram using the #ConfidentYou hash tag OR on ourFacebook wall. However you want to join in is just fine by me. We’ll have ourselves a little Confident You community." sugercoatit.com
Here I am. Beyond thrilled to jump in.
I am as always the master procrastinator, and I am 13 days behind the challenge. Behind or not, I'm in. I will post in response to the challenges posed by Suger Coat It, 2-3 challenges per post until I've posted about all 28 challenges. You will likely want to follow her post series to attempt to make sense of mine.
http://www.sugercoatit.com/tomorrow-it-begins-confidentyou/
Hooray for blogs!
For those of you not interested in intensive reading, I'll try and post something light and funny in between, perhaps some doodles from my sketchbook?
Until then stay tuned...
Because in 5 minutes or so I'll post about the first two challenges.
Love,
Erin
" Self Confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings"
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Monday Monday Monday
Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman.
Monday has come and gone. Nothing terribly exciting to report here. A nice drive to work with Paul, our morning chats are always entertaining. Work was the usual, lots of keeping busy little kids busy. Long day. A good phone chat with Kimberley.
I came home to relax and spend some time with my lovable parents.
Then spent the latter part of the evening playing with Natacha's hair and hanging out. Monday was a pretty good day!
A fresh start.
Last week and the weekend leading up to today is chock full of stories. I'll try to stay on topic, my stories are so often scattered. Let's start with last Wednesday:
My first burlesque class. I was feeling ill prepared, having been sick for 4 days before hand, and not in the mind set for a work out. I registered for this particular class a few months ago, an 8 week Intro to Burlesque, with a fitness twist and the option to perform as part of a group in a Gala performance at the end of the class. The Gala for this semester's classes is themed "The Night Circus". Who could resist?
Burlesquercise, check out the web page!
I decided to try it for a few reasons, my interest in burlesque, pin up, and all things va va voom..
A longing to step away from old shy Erin, who a few years ago would not have even considered the idea. and...
A little nudge from a friend helped too, thank you Jessica!
The studio filled with nervous laughter and excitement, a room full of 30 some women. We started off with intros and dove right in to the to do's of dancing, toning and zoning.
First came a warm up, then training our hips and torso's to move in rhythm. Let me just make this clear now, I have no rhythm, it's just not in my bones! I'm hoping rhythm can in fact be taught! The instructor, Annick, is a charming, funny and motivating teacher, describing herself as the boot camp burlesque teacher. I can't wait for more. My first class and a fantastic first impression, we laughed, we danced, we did squats!
Needless to say I'm smitten.
On Friday night Paul and I headed out of the city for the weekend to Edmonton, to visit with his family and check out the Edmonton Comic and Entertainment Expo. (If you would like more info, stories, etc. about the Expo and related topics check out Paul's page.
your source for podcasts, live streaming video games, reviews, and so much more!)
Now where was I? Friday night, driving to Edmonton, I had some kind of melt down, I can't tell you how it started or why, only that it was melodramatic and wild. (The 4 hours of sleep I was fueled with may have been a contributing factor + energy drink)
We arrived in Red Deer, and I fell apart, crying and feeling generally tense. After some deliberation and a much calmer second half of the trip we arrived safely in Edmonton. We spent the weekend, relaxing, hanging out with Paul's parents and two younger brothers and grandparents too! I <3 Family.
I can't say much about the Expo, it was a mild version of the Calgary counterpart, for it's first year in Edmonton it was decent, but lacking a certain something. I acquired a really awesome cameo necklace, some stickers, and a print!
I'll post pictures later. Paul bought some old Nintendo games.
We wandered the halls and exhibits. I made a lame attempt at being a photographer for his web page (turns out being behind the camera turns me in a pathetic and shy marshmallow).
We ate over priced food, hung out with friends and went home.
Good weekend!
In other news, I have gotten back on the healthy eating wagon and subsequently fallen off so many times in the last 3 weeks, it only seems fair that the wagon take off with out me.
I don't know what I have done with my motivation, but I pray it comes back to me. I have tried and failed too many times to count. I am not trying to adhere to a crazy diet, just eating mindfully, with common sense and a ravenous appetite for vegetables. I am still dive bombing!I need to restart,and will do so until I get back on track again. I can do this!
It's you and me veggies!
After all it's 80 - 90% what you eat and 10-20% exercise!
In the pursuit of pretty teeth, I decided to try Crest White Strips this week too. I have had many humorous side effects.
First I left them on too long and forgot to brush my teeth afterwards and woke up with horribly sensitive and angry teeth.
Then I destroyed my gums with them. Lastly it seems they have a lip plumping property.. Every time I use them my lips puff up like Angelina Jolie's. I don't like white strips,but they do make your teeth shiny, pretty and white. :)
There it is ladies and gents. Mondays post, sometimes mundane.
But here it is.
This week:
- back to healthy eating
- work outs! getting back to 4-5 days a week!
- adventures, so I have something to talk about next time!
Monday has come and gone. Nothing terribly exciting to report here. A nice drive to work with Paul, our morning chats are always entertaining. Work was the usual, lots of keeping busy little kids busy. Long day. A good phone chat with Kimberley.
I came home to relax and spend some time with my lovable parents.
Then spent the latter part of the evening playing with Natacha's hair and hanging out. Monday was a pretty good day!
A fresh start.
Last week and the weekend leading up to today is chock full of stories. I'll try to stay on topic, my stories are so often scattered. Let's start with last Wednesday:
My first burlesque class. I was feeling ill prepared, having been sick for 4 days before hand, and not in the mind set for a work out. I registered for this particular class a few months ago, an 8 week Intro to Burlesque, with a fitness twist and the option to perform as part of a group in a Gala performance at the end of the class. The Gala for this semester's classes is themed "The Night Circus". Who could resist?
Burlesquercise, check out the web page!
I decided to try it for a few reasons, my interest in burlesque, pin up, and all things va va voom..
A longing to step away from old shy Erin, who a few years ago would not have even considered the idea. and...
A little nudge from a friend helped too, thank you Jessica!
The studio filled with nervous laughter and excitement, a room full of 30 some women. We started off with intros and dove right in to the to do's of dancing, toning and zoning.
First came a warm up, then training our hips and torso's to move in rhythm. Let me just make this clear now, I have no rhythm, it's just not in my bones! I'm hoping rhythm can in fact be taught! The instructor, Annick, is a charming, funny and motivating teacher, describing herself as the boot camp burlesque teacher. I can't wait for more. My first class and a fantastic first impression, we laughed, we danced, we did squats!
Needless to say I'm smitten.
your source for podcasts, live streaming video games, reviews, and so much more!)
Now where was I? Friday night, driving to Edmonton, I had some kind of melt down, I can't tell you how it started or why, only that it was melodramatic and wild. (The 4 hours of sleep I was fueled with may have been a contributing factor + energy drink)
We arrived in Red Deer, and I fell apart, crying and feeling generally tense. After some deliberation and a much calmer second half of the trip we arrived safely in Edmonton. We spent the weekend, relaxing, hanging out with Paul's parents and two younger brothers and grandparents too! I <3 Family.
I can't say much about the Expo, it was a mild version of the Calgary counterpart, for it's first year in Edmonton it was decent, but lacking a certain something. I acquired a really awesome cameo necklace, some stickers, and a print!
I'll post pictures later. Paul bought some old Nintendo games.
We wandered the halls and exhibits. I made a lame attempt at being a photographer for his web page (turns out being behind the camera turns me in a pathetic and shy marshmallow).
We ate over priced food, hung out with friends and went home.
Good weekend!
In other news, I have gotten back on the healthy eating wagon and subsequently fallen off so many times in the last 3 weeks, it only seems fair that the wagon take off with out me.
I don't know what I have done with my motivation, but I pray it comes back to me. I have tried and failed too many times to count. I am not trying to adhere to a crazy diet, just eating mindfully, with common sense and a ravenous appetite for vegetables. I am still dive bombing!I need to restart,and will do so until I get back on track again. I can do this!
It's you and me veggies!
After all it's 80 - 90% what you eat and 10-20% exercise!
In the pursuit of pretty teeth, I decided to try Crest White Strips this week too. I have had many humorous side effects.
First I left them on too long and forgot to brush my teeth afterwards and woke up with horribly sensitive and angry teeth.
Then I destroyed my gums with them. Lastly it seems they have a lip plumping property.. Every time I use them my lips puff up like Angelina Jolie's. I don't like white strips,but they do make your teeth shiny, pretty and white. :)
There it is ladies and gents. Mondays post, sometimes mundane.
But here it is.
This week:
- back to healthy eating
- work outs! getting back to 4-5 days a week!
- adventures, so I have something to talk about next time!
Cameo Necklace
and below: Expo Fun!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Hello? Is Anybody Out There?
Hello my lovely friends, readers and strangers alike,
It's been a while. Too long if you ask me. Life has a way of sweeping me off my feet.That is neither here nor there.
The point is.. I am here!I am happy, and determined, and damn well going to write this blog like I mean it.
For those of you still scratching your heads please refer to my previous post(dated in June haha, life I tell ya!)I have taken my time. Sorry for the delay.
Back to the same old, the usual and the new and interesting.
A little update of sorts.. It has been 4 months since my last post, I don't know how the time escaped me...
I won't bore you with all the nitty gritty details, as I said it's a bit messy. The summer was long and emotionally consuming. Work is busy. My art making is on hold for the time being, or at least some what delayed. I am really trying to find my feet again, and things are looking up. Hooray for that! All I can say is I am a very lucky girl to have such amazing family and friends, people that stick by me even when the going gets rough and Erin checks out. Thank you to all of those amazing people.
Cheers to life.
My weight loss journey has been a bit bumpy. I was doing so well for so long and then I hit a wall, plateaued and lost my unsinkable ship, burned the wagon down and took no prisoners. (No more cheesy lines I promise!) I indulged for a while, and gained back 15lbs. Now it's time to get down to business.
It's not about numbers, it never has been for me. I am working towards a healthier me, whatever that may look like. In the wise words of my younger sister, "it's a feeling, and you will know when you find it". In the meantime, I am back on the wagon, and looking for work out inspiration and new ideas to keep me motivated. Yay! My goal for the short term is to hit 50lbs lost, and reward that with a new tattoo.
So that's that. Life in a nutshell.
Now why? Why am I writing again? Because to be perfectly honest, I need it. I need to write this all down and tell my ridiculous stories, and share useless facts and interesting links, and all of the in between.. because it makes me smile, it keeps me motivated, it fulfills something that nothing else can, and it's fun ! I do wonder if writing this blog has helped any one along the way.. but I've come to the conclusion that even if I am the only one who ever reads this.. I'm still going to keep writing.
I am ready to tell you ridiculous stories, share links and keep you mildly entertained at the very least....
(all the while giving you too much information, stories that are long and drawn out and full of needless detail and being up front and up close about everything, are you uncomfortable yet?.. I am a little bit, also feeling a little bit nervous and awkward) Sometimes the things in life that are the most worth while are also completely terrifying. More than anything I am excited to continue this adventure..
It's been a while. Too long if you ask me. Life has a way of sweeping me off my feet.That is neither here nor there.
The point is.. I am here!I am happy, and determined, and damn well going to write this blog like I mean it.
For those of you still scratching your heads please refer to my previous post(dated in June haha, life I tell ya!)I have taken my time. Sorry for the delay.
Back to the same old, the usual and the new and interesting.
A little update of sorts.. It has been 4 months since my last post, I don't know how the time escaped me...
I won't bore you with all the nitty gritty details, as I said it's a bit messy. The summer was long and emotionally consuming. Work is busy. My art making is on hold for the time being, or at least some what delayed. I am really trying to find my feet again, and things are looking up. Hooray for that! All I can say is I am a very lucky girl to have such amazing family and friends, people that stick by me even when the going gets rough and Erin checks out. Thank you to all of those amazing people.
Cheers to life.
My weight loss journey has been a bit bumpy. I was doing so well for so long and then I hit a wall, plateaued and lost my unsinkable ship, burned the wagon down and took no prisoners. (No more cheesy lines I promise!) I indulged for a while, and gained back 15lbs. Now it's time to get down to business.
It's not about numbers, it never has been for me. I am working towards a healthier me, whatever that may look like. In the wise words of my younger sister, "it's a feeling, and you will know when you find it". In the meantime, I am back on the wagon, and looking for work out inspiration and new ideas to keep me motivated. Yay! My goal for the short term is to hit 50lbs lost, and reward that with a new tattoo.
So that's that. Life in a nutshell.
Now why? Why am I writing again? Because to be perfectly honest, I need it. I need to write this all down and tell my ridiculous stories, and share useless facts and interesting links, and all of the in between.. because it makes me smile, it keeps me motivated, it fulfills something that nothing else can, and it's fun ! I do wonder if writing this blog has helped any one along the way.. but I've come to the conclusion that even if I am the only one who ever reads this.. I'm still going to keep writing.
I am ready to tell you ridiculous stories, share links and keep you mildly entertained at the very least....
(all the while giving you too much information, stories that are long and drawn out and full of needless detail and being up front and up close about everything, are you uncomfortable yet?.. I am a little bit, also feeling a little bit nervous and awkward) Sometimes the things in life that are the most worth while are also completely terrifying. More than anything I am excited to continue this adventure..
Love is loving yourself enough to take hold of your own life..
October 2012 40lbs lost so far..
Love has done me a world of good.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Re-Define
Hello Readers, Friends and Strangers alike.
I have been on a short hiatus. It's been a few months since my last post. A few long months.
I can only say I've been struggling. A struggle with life, and love, and work, a battle with myself at best.
I am happy to report that so far the score is:
Erin's Life:1 Struggle:0.
I am conquering it. In a fashion befitting a girl with the determination of a bull fighter. I am stuck to my convictions and have become immovable.
With the battle has come epiphany.
First with my place in life. When you begin to examine yourself closely, you often stumble upon disaster.
A disaster not unlike a car accident, some how you can't look away... but it's terrifying none the less.
It becomes painfully obvious where the happiness lies.
I am typically a very happy person. Lately I just feel a little lost. Happy but somehow mellowed. I would like to spring back.
I'm on my way there. I am on my way back to being the incredibly awesome and energetic, full of life Erin I know I am.
As I was saying epiphany..
I have come to many conclusions in the last few months about so many different things, all related to my current stance in life. I wouldn't know where to begin to outline them for you.
I think I'll save most of it for another day and another story.
Right now let's stick to the related, my blog.
This page started out as a place to record, journal and share my weight loss journey. It was a noble endeavor, but I have always felt something was missing. It has helped to keep me accountable as I set out for it to. It has moved me to reveal things about myself I would not otherwise have shared in a public forum.
It has taught me so many things.I still feel as though something is missing. Am I helping anyone else with the posts I write? Is anyone getting anything from this? I don't know.
I am finding it difficult to focus purely on a singular journey or "adventure" as I put it so often.
Don't worry, we are not getting to the part where I say "I quit" and resign my blog to the dark depths of the web. I will keep writing. I promise. I need to. I need the outlet.
I just want to change the format. The plot if you will.
The title has to stay, changing it seems silly at this point.
I need to redefine it.
The Adventures and Misadventures of Shrinking Erin.
The adventures will always be a part of my bigger picture, life is full of them, and with them come misadventures, there are so many of these. A misadventure is not always a negative experience, it's often embarrassing, funny and sometimes a tale of something that I tried and just completely failed at.
All noble causes.
Lastly the shrinking part, I originally intended this to refer to the shrinking that comes with weight loss.
However with a change of intention, this too needs to change definition. Shrinking (think shrink as in a therapist or doctor) shrinking in this case will come to mean a great many things, untangling the mess that is life, sorting out my inner most workings, just talking at all of you really.
This blog will become something different, but very much the same, stories of my life and the things that inspire me, links to interesting finds, other blogs and fun.
I only hope some of you will continue to read.
I hope I haven't lost you all in my absence.
So now that we've sorted that out.
Here's an update on my current state of affairs,
The stats if you will:
Erin Myers
Age: 27
Emotional state: Happy but lonely.
Sleep state: After a long 4 hour nap, sleep will be somewhat delayed tonight
Physical: I feel a little under the weather this week
Excercise: Walking - I have missed the gym entirely this week so far, due to the aforementioned sick feeling
Work: Busy and productive
Art: 3 projects on the go. All in various stages.
Weight loss: Is at a stand still currently, next week I will be back on top of this. Up until this point I have lost a total of 42 pounds. I am proud of this, but there is more to go.
Heart: Previously broken and under repair. Currently a little better, happier and somewhat jaded until further notice.
Life: Is messy, but overall happy and good.
Cheers lovely readers!
Until later.
Love,
Erin
Ps. I love you guys!
I have been on a short hiatus. It's been a few months since my last post. A few long months.
I can only say I've been struggling. A struggle with life, and love, and work, a battle with myself at best.
I am happy to report that so far the score is:
Erin's Life:1 Struggle:0.
I am conquering it. In a fashion befitting a girl with the determination of a bull fighter. I am stuck to my convictions and have become immovable.
With the battle has come epiphany.
First with my place in life. When you begin to examine yourself closely, you often stumble upon disaster.
A disaster not unlike a car accident, some how you can't look away... but it's terrifying none the less.
It becomes painfully obvious where the happiness lies.
I am typically a very happy person. Lately I just feel a little lost. Happy but somehow mellowed. I would like to spring back.
I'm on my way there. I am on my way back to being the incredibly awesome and energetic, full of life Erin I know I am.
As I was saying epiphany..
I have come to many conclusions in the last few months about so many different things, all related to my current stance in life. I wouldn't know where to begin to outline them for you.
I think I'll save most of it for another day and another story.
Right now let's stick to the related, my blog.
This page started out as a place to record, journal and share my weight loss journey. It was a noble endeavor, but I have always felt something was missing. It has helped to keep me accountable as I set out for it to. It has moved me to reveal things about myself I would not otherwise have shared in a public forum.
It has taught me so many things.I still feel as though something is missing. Am I helping anyone else with the posts I write? Is anyone getting anything from this? I don't know.
I am finding it difficult to focus purely on a singular journey or "adventure" as I put it so often.
Don't worry, we are not getting to the part where I say "I quit" and resign my blog to the dark depths of the web. I will keep writing. I promise. I need to. I need the outlet.
I just want to change the format. The plot if you will.
The title has to stay, changing it seems silly at this point.
I need to redefine it.
The Adventures and Misadventures of Shrinking Erin.
The adventures will always be a part of my bigger picture, life is full of them, and with them come misadventures, there are so many of these. A misadventure is not always a negative experience, it's often embarrassing, funny and sometimes a tale of something that I tried and just completely failed at.
All noble causes.
Lastly the shrinking part, I originally intended this to refer to the shrinking that comes with weight loss.
However with a change of intention, this too needs to change definition. Shrinking (think shrink as in a therapist or doctor) shrinking in this case will come to mean a great many things, untangling the mess that is life, sorting out my inner most workings, just talking at all of you really.
This blog will become something different, but very much the same, stories of my life and the things that inspire me, links to interesting finds, other blogs and fun.
I only hope some of you will continue to read.
I hope I haven't lost you all in my absence.
So now that we've sorted that out.
Here's an update on my current state of affairs,
The stats if you will:
Erin Myers
Age: 27
Emotional state: Happy but lonely.
Sleep state: After a long 4 hour nap, sleep will be somewhat delayed tonight
Physical: I feel a little under the weather this week
Excercise: Walking - I have missed the gym entirely this week so far, due to the aforementioned sick feeling
Work: Busy and productive
Art: 3 projects on the go. All in various stages.
Weight loss: Is at a stand still currently, next week I will be back on top of this. Up until this point I have lost a total of 42 pounds. I am proud of this, but there is more to go.
Heart: Previously broken and under repair. Currently a little better, happier and somewhat jaded until further notice.
Life: Is messy, but overall happy and good.
Cheers lovely readers!
Until later.
Love,
Erin
Ps. I love you guys!
Friday, April 6, 2012
How to Beat the Easter Chocolate Craving? Beat it with a stick.!
Happy Easter Weekend!
It's been a whirlwind week and the weekend has arrived swiftly. This one should be interesting. Plenty of family around and an endless supply of snacks and fabulous Easter fare thanks to my Mum and two Aunts. Ps. To the rest of my family, to the west in BC and to the east in Saskatoon, I miss you! Come visit!
Our family has a tradition, much like Christmas and Thanksgiving, Easter is just another good reason to have a Turkey Dinner.
Nothing is forgotten when it comes to these dinner occasions.
It might look something like this: Turkey, Stuffing, Mashed Potatoes, Party Potatoes, Green Bean Casserole, Ham, Salads and usually at least two of them, Devilled Eggs, Brussel Sprouts, Creamed Corn, Buns, Gravy, and don't you dare forget Dessert!
Dessert usually consists of at least two varieties of pie, a cake, a brownie, and this year Lemon Tarts too! I don't know how these ladies do it! My Grandmother was a strong influence, a talent in the kitchen like no other, a Julia Child, in her own right. :) Miss you Grammy. The tricky part is deciding how much of this insane dinner to have on your plate, my Sister Laurel is infamous for loading her plate with everything under the sun, by the end of dinner her plate resembles a tornado zone, love you Laurel!
This year the challenge for me will be avoiding all Gluten, this includes various tempting dessert options. I must also contend with the display of chocolate on my parent's kitchen counter.
Chocolate is the one thing that puts a kink in my plan, chocolate is the one thing I crave most often. I will allow myself a little bit, but I will try to find an alternative first. How do you beat your cravings ? What tactics work best ?
Oh Chocolate you will be the end of me. All jokes aside, I will do my best to stay on track this weekend.. I'll update you later and let you know how that goes. I did fairly well this week, despite one day of snack happy fun. I lost half a pound.
I managed to get in a workout of some kind every day, Monday was training in the AM, Tuesday evening Zumba, Wednesday a two hour swim with the kiddos I babysit, Thursday a two hour walk. Today it will be a walk while shopping, the fam jam is planning to go to Ikea. I may take another long stroll after dinner. Tomorrow a break and Sunday perhaps some Yoga?
What are your plans for the weekend?
What Easter traditions do you take part in ?
And how do you keep the cravings at bay?
Happy Easter all!
Love Erin xoxo
.JPG)
It's been a whirlwind week and the weekend has arrived swiftly. This one should be interesting. Plenty of family around and an endless supply of snacks and fabulous Easter fare thanks to my Mum and two Aunts. Ps. To the rest of my family, to the west in BC and to the east in Saskatoon, I miss you! Come visit!
Our family has a tradition, much like Christmas and Thanksgiving, Easter is just another good reason to have a Turkey Dinner.
Nothing is forgotten when it comes to these dinner occasions.
It might look something like this: Turkey, Stuffing, Mashed Potatoes, Party Potatoes, Green Bean Casserole, Ham, Salads and usually at least two of them, Devilled Eggs, Brussel Sprouts, Creamed Corn, Buns, Gravy, and don't you dare forget Dessert!
Dessert usually consists of at least two varieties of pie, a cake, a brownie, and this year Lemon Tarts too! I don't know how these ladies do it! My Grandmother was a strong influence, a talent in the kitchen like no other, a Julia Child, in her own right. :) Miss you Grammy. The tricky part is deciding how much of this insane dinner to have on your plate, my Sister Laurel is infamous for loading her plate with everything under the sun, by the end of dinner her plate resembles a tornado zone, love you Laurel!
This year the challenge for me will be avoiding all Gluten, this includes various tempting dessert options. I must also contend with the display of chocolate on my parent's kitchen counter.
Chocolate is the one thing that puts a kink in my plan, chocolate is the one thing I crave most often. I will allow myself a little bit, but I will try to find an alternative first. How do you beat your cravings ? What tactics work best ?
Oh Chocolate you will be the end of me. All jokes aside, I will do my best to stay on track this weekend.. I'll update you later and let you know how that goes. I did fairly well this week, despite one day of snack happy fun. I lost half a pound.
I managed to get in a workout of some kind every day, Monday was training in the AM, Tuesday evening Zumba, Wednesday a two hour swim with the kiddos I babysit, Thursday a two hour walk. Today it will be a walk while shopping, the fam jam is planning to go to Ikea. I may take another long stroll after dinner. Tomorrow a break and Sunday perhaps some Yoga?
What are your plans for the weekend?
What Easter traditions do you take part in ?
And how do you keep the cravings at bay?
Happy Easter all!
Love Erin xoxo
.JPG)
My little kiddo made me this for "lunch"
It's Strawberry,Pineapple,and Onion soup. Yum?
The Chocolate. Dun dun dun.
Breakfast. Two Eggs, 1oz. Cheese, 2tbsp. Light Sour Cream,
Penny's Salsa (so good! and from Costco), Cucumber and Sabra Roasted Red Pepper Hummus. Om Nom!
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