Just Be.

If I can take any piece of advice and run with it, this is it "Just be." 

My life as a whole lately has been unusually messy, I will admit. 
It seems to have no rhyme or reason, for a while this had my head in a spin. 
It's only now as I really take the time to slow things down that I see it. I'm quite skilled at the "smile and pretend everything is great" approach. Having practiced this approach for so long makes it easier to put your head down and just push through the stress, the hard truths, and the absolute chaos that life throws at you. But... if you put your head down for too long, when you look up and look around, your whole world has changed. Trust me, it's not cute! All the "pretending" in the world cannot cover up the pure and simple truth. For me that truth is I needed to SLOW DOWN. 

It took me a while to come around. I am a multi-tasker and I like to think that I am closely related to Wonder Woman and can take on anything and everything. I am NOT Wonder Woman,. this has become annoyingly obvious, I can't take on the world and I don't look very good in tights either...One person cannot conquer 100 things in any given week,(a gross exaggeration).. but you get where I'm going. 
I LOVE projects, and so I take on many. Too many... Add to that my need to take care of other people and make them very very happy... and voila.. Hurricane Erin. 
Complete and utter madness. 

How did I come to all of these alarming conclusions? 
It didn't come easy, and mistakes were made along the way. 
I looked up from my rose colored glasses, and my pretend to be okay smile.. 
and SHIT. Pardon my language, but what? 
What had happened here? 
The basics, the bones of my life if you will were intact... My family relationships still strong, check. Paul and I are happy, check. I have a roof over my head, check. I have a steady, good and fulfilling job I love, check. 
I am a well rounded, good hearted, well meaning person, check. That's where the list starts to get a little messy, and hard to read...
For all the good in my life, I had let the details go. 

I let stress go on for way too long instead of stopping, instead of saying hey! I need a break!. Bad bad Erin! I will admit my financial history has it's flaws, something I was happy to let slide, because in my mind I have all the time in the world to worry about money. Right? That is until I start to think about that house I want someday... and someday is getting a lot closer to now! Yikes! Follow that with my need to take on 100 different things at any given time, that adds to that generally tired and worn out feeling. Did I mention I don't sleep well? I often stay up late and well in to the night. I can definitively say I do not eat well enough often enough and my level of exercise is in a major decline. Last but not least, trying to keep up with friends while all of this whirls around my head, I love you friends, all of you, you know who you are and I hope that you still love me despite my current state. 
This is not a fun list..
I am beginning to look like the Top 1O What Not to Do Before You're 30! 

This is not where it ends. I promise, I like to end on a positive note. 
This is where the advice comes in. In all of this perceived mess, a calm voice asked me.. 
"What would happen if you just let things be?" " Just be." 
It was like a bright light in a dark hallway. Why didn't I think of that? 
Things are a little wild, and messy, but if I just let them be. What might come of it? 
Just be in it. I might come out a little calmer, a little brighter, a little happier on the other side. 
I have made mistakes. I have had a messy year, but it has still been a good year so far. 
No one is perfect. Someone else is always going through something bigger. Life is good and if it gives you lemons, make lemonade. So yes, to some my life would appear a cataclysmic mess. 
But it is my mess. I will just let it be, and take my time and I will be happier for it.